Tuesday, March 24, 2009

In my silence

The silence of the hour comforts me and draws me in as the darkness envelopes me in its death-like embrace, just as it has done every dawn for centuries now. As I succumb, my thoughts turn to you as they so often do. Where are you now? What realm holds you captive and away from me? Can you see me, Jo? Can you forgive my youth, my arrogance and my self-righteousness that cost me you? I was so young and full of anger. Angry at my plight and our circumstances.

I let you go then. I thought that interfering in the mortal world was beneath me, not my role to play in the world I had left behind; but I should have Josette. I should have taken you with me that night. As Paris burned all around us, and my heart ached for you, instead I said goodbye and never looked back; or so I thought.

But time is....how do I explain it... Time is forever, constant, ceaseless in its flow like a stream rolling from place to place, never lingering too long as it picks us up and carries us along, as if we were leaves floating on the waters' surface. Time is both then and now. I find myself here now, in 21st century Manhattan still pondering you and us. Michel is still with me, my dearest friend. Does he dream of you as I do? Is his soul torn in two as mine has been over loving and losing you? I know how much he loved you Jo. As much as Michel can love anyone.

Am I angry? jealous? Am I a fool for loving you yet not caring who else you might have taken to your bed? To this day I am not sure I ever allowed myself to acknowledge your affair with my best friend. I loved you both so much and feared losing either of you. All I know is that to this day you haunt me still.

It's strange, but I feel you with me, in me. Imagine that, a vampire waxing on matters that I have no interest in, nor understanding of, yet my love for you is the force that has carried me through time to the present day. I always thought it was blood that I craved, but it has always been you Jo. You and our love has sustained me. Your eternal power and your ability to captivate me is my proof that love remains. It suspends time.

I feel you in the darkness, holding me close as I fall into oblivion once again.

Christian

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Spring Ahead

As the wonderful season of Spring approaches, I am reminded to keep pushing forward with my second novel. On the few days when the muse is away, I write regardless. Right now, Christian has discovered a journal from the past that belonged to someone he still loves dearly. He is also about to discover much more than he ever wanted to know about her as he relives the eighteenth century again.